The Birds...

I am jogged, my memory is jogged with my Timehop App. I am grateful for it because time is so abstract. Yesterday morning I was reminded that 3 years ago I saw and photographed my very first Eagle. I was stunned that 3 years and 3 cameras later, I was still chasing Eagles, but add to that list, Hawks, Woodpeckers, Blackbilled Magpie, and in the dead of winter, Blue Herons as well. The Eagles made their presence known around mid-October. Since then, I have taken quite a few pics which to me are simply jaw-dropping, well, because..Eagles!!! I keep on striving to do better thru the lens and the Eagles, Hawks and the rest of the wildlife, which at times is right outside my window, (like this morning, 3 coyotes, very bold and loud) challenge me daily. I am grateful for this as well. So, these are just a few from the past couple of months. I want to do better. I want to capture an Eagle in full fight, full wing span. The same with the Hawks. Once they spread their majestic wings, things move quickly. I need a tripod now. As long as I see forward motion, I'm good, it's a good thing...thank you nature many times over, every single day...I added a Mule deer and a Bunny at the end because they are both just so so so precious..no captions necessary today..

  

                            

‘Listen closely,

even the trees exhale their own sweet love songs that roll off their boughs and echo out to all of creation. Love is always in the air.’ Christen Rogers. I posted this poem on February 14th as it is true, every single day, love is always in the air. 

Pay attention....

Scout...

Scout. She is our new 4-legged Family member. We adopted her on August 6th from Dumb Friends League in Denver. She was 11 weeks old, tiny tiny tiny. She was the only kitten we looked at that day. The Girl had been gone since late May, and I was just not happy being without a cat/kitten. I was ready even though the house was clean as a whistle, I was sorely missing a having feline around. The Boys were on board.

I don't understand it, I have seen it often on social media: 'Help me to name my baby, help me to name my dog or cat or my mascot.' On occasion, I would throw out the name of Scout, although it was never chosen. So, even before we brought her home, (certainly, Scout would have worked for a male as well) she had a name. And, YES, I named her after the character of the 6 year old, 'Scout' from Harper Lee's remarkable book published in 1960, and in 1962, the equally remarkable movie, To Kill a Mockingbird. I even watched the movie again on Netflix, to remind myself why Scout was so stuck in my heart, and fell in-love once more with the innocence of a little girl who did not see the color of people's skin, but was able to see straight to a persons soul. So, her name, Scout, was officially sealed!!

This little kitty grew SO FAST, I call her, Miss Scout, the giant kitten. I am so so so glad to have these pics of her because now, she is 6 months old, still very much a kitten, but just really big! I forgot. I forgot what it was like to have a kitten, a baby animal in the house. At one point during that first week, I was so exhausted, I handed her over to Edward and said, here, YOU play with her. She was coming out of the gate at a thousand miles an hour and then falling into that deep 'kitten sleep!'

She is fearless, sweet, funny, very outgoing, a hunter/stalker, physically very strong. She has developed a different relationship with each of us, which is makes sense. She also filled a space in my heart, our hearts, which was missing. In many many ways we are still getting to know her, and she, us, but like any long term relationship, it's just going to unfold naturally as we go! So, Scout, the giant kitten, in the house!!!!!

Who knows, she may need a little feline friend to play with...to be continued..

Today is a Good Day to Exhale...

Written on Saturday, May 20, New York City:

So, trip number 3, back to the east coast since 2015. Each one, a different season, a different reason, but the love remains the same. The love for my Family and my Friends, I have said hello and goodbye to, too many times over at this point to count...and today, my heart spilled over with emotion as I realized that I was beginning to exhale. My Cousins and I are close and I am thankfully, very free with them. My cousin Rita, her dog, Roxie died yesterday, so we spoke this morning. She told me the whole story of Roxie's last day, and most gratefully, Roxie passed away on her own and not in my cousins house. Rita and a friend were able to make it to the Vet pretty much in the nick of time, so that no papers had to be filled out, and the whole guilt of 'putting our pets down' or 'I just murdered my 4 legged family member', was dissolved. Thank you sweet Roxie for sparing Rita that part of her story. Then it was my turn to talk.I did not write about it publicly when my cousin Ellie died suddenly in December, it was a Family decision. Many months before her passing we talked about my clearing out her apartment in Chelsea, so, that was the main reason for the trip. Just this (chilly) morning, in this cozy room in this old brownstone in the West Village, I felt the loss and I grieved for yet another member of Mom's generation. Here is what I have learned about grief over these almost 5 years since Mom passed. Grief will get you. You might think that you are clever enough to tuck it away someplace, or to pretend that you are 'good', since a couple of years have passed and life has marched on. But grief is too powerful. It will rise up and it will come out and show itself when you least expect it. This is what happened to me this morning. I was not here when Ellie died, as much as I received many updates over those 2 days when difficult life and death decisions were being made, yet, it did happen to me too. Watching, partaking, as her apartment was dismantled painting by painting, photo by photo, plant by plant, would have made an eventful time lapse video. With anyone who reaches the impressive age of 88, there were many layers to Ellie. We learned upon her passing that she kept people and possessions very compartmentalized. What a great thing when all those people actually met, and the doors to Ellie's compartments swung wide open. I now have a couple of new friends on Facebook, one important, healed up relationship and some new/old photos to bring back to Colorado. Ellie, I am certain looked down with ridiculous pleasure to see how well the day unfolded. My sweet sweet Ellie. So, Rita got an earful too, but she had to run, conversation over...me still spilling...

Post script: That day, I stayed very nuzzled in, ate potato chips, drank coconut water, watched 6 episodes of General Hospital, the last 3 episodes of Scandal (OMG), napped and slowly prepared myself to leave New York. Today is Wednesday, I feel much more rested and my joy has returned to its fullness...looking back, just these couple of days, I saw bubbles of the grief rising last week but, I was busy running, seeing, doing, yet, I could not hide it...grateful that I have learned to recognize it, let it happen, get it out, and then proceed forward...

And Then, There Was NYC...

Upper West Side love...

Looking North from the 19th floor in Chelsea...

Sunrise, big skies, good morning NYC...Chelsea!

My Cousin's beautiful balcony garden...

On the High Line, a moment...

My Goddaughter, Jennie, in rehearsal for 'Pearl', the musical...(please go see her @ the Davenport Theatre, Saturday, 25th and last performance, Sunday, August 2nd)!!!

Grace Church, The Village...old stomping grounds..

And finally, the landmark, Grand Central...

So, sandwiched in between going to the Berkshires, and going to Maryland, I spent 4 1/2 very full days in The City. Born and raised in NYC, you know the saying, 'You can take the girl out of the City..'. It is the first time that I have visited NY since Mom passed away, and it was really, really different, in a good way. The last couple of years visiting the City when Mom was still alive, most of my time was spent running back and forth to NYU Medical Center or taking care of her after she got out of the hospital, way downtown in Battery Park. Now I had to make other arrangements for where to place my bags and rest my head. 2 couches and a futon later, from the Upper West Side to Chelsea, (West 24th and West 15th), I immediately knew that the phrase, 'wandering Jew', was appropriate. The City has changed, it felt different. I have changed, I felt different. 

The most important part of the trip from beginning to end, was seeing Family and Friends. I do not have pics of many of those moments, as many of the visits were short and sweet, and I have tucked them safely away in my heart. From a spill-over visit from the Berkshires to the Upper West Side, to my 87 year old Cousin, (who is 87 going on 65...she lives the life in NY!), to my extended Family whom I love dearly and wished I had more time to savor our time together. You know who you are. To some very special time with my friend, who was the Activity Director/in charge of fun, @ The Hallmark where Mom lived for 8 wonderful years, and lunch with yet another Cousin! And then the phone calls. For the people I spoke with just to hear your voice, knowing that you were not 2/3 of a country away, may I remind each of you, that just because I live in Colorado, does not mean we can only speak on the phone only when I am in the City. My last stop was Grand Central, lugging my big suitcase. If I had a quarter for every time someone said, 'Hey, Lady, that suitcase it bigger than you!', all the while, looking at the security which was in place for July 4th, thinking, "It's not me folks.' I kissed New York good-bye and I was on to my next destination. 

I have purposed in my heart that I will go back to The City which I love, sooner than later. As my Cousin said, her hotel is open!!! 

#gratefulgratefulgrateful

'The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never ceases, For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. 'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, Therefore I have hope in Him...'

                                                                Lamentations 3:22-25

The Sweetest Thank-you 'Note' Ever...

Happy 4th Birthday little Spunky...love you!

Words for Wednesday...

Seriously....

Alphabet of Hope and Love...

LOVE this one, from Pinterest, from the board, 'Lettering'

by, Heather Laskowski

Dear Restlesss Heart...

'Prayer'

Dear restless heart, be still; don't fret and worry so;
God has a thousand ways His love and help to show;
Just trust, and trust, and trust, until His will you know.

Dear restless heart, be still, for peace is God's own smile,
His love can every wrong and sorrow reconcile;
Just love, and love, and love, and calmly wait awhile.

Dear restless heart, be brave; don't moan and sorrow so,
He hath a meaning kind in chilly winds that blow;
Just hope, and hope, and hope, until you braver grow.

Dear restless heart, repose upon His breast this hour,
His grace is strength and life, His love is bloom and flower;
Just rest, and rest, and rest, within His tender power.

Dear restless heart, be still! Don't struggle to be free;
God's life is in your life, from Him you may not flee;
Just pray, and pray, and pray, till you have faith to see.

Edith Willis Linn
1865-1945

Wordless Wednesday

Happy 85th Birthday, Aunt Claire!!!!!

We love you....

Mom's 85th Birthday

What a milestone, turning 85. Mom has had some real health issues, but she battles on, with swimming and yoga and physical therapy. She lives in a wonderful building in NYC, which is a great place for anyone to live, but it is specifically for Seniors. There are bells and whistles everywhere if she needs help. She has a great apartment and has made some friends, some who have passed, and others, some well into their 90's, who put one foot in front of the other everyday and live their already very full lives. There is a private room in her building for special events or dinners, which holds 12 people and this is where we shared a lovely evening. This is what Mom wanted.

I had an idea to make Mom a collage of her life, so I called on the family to send in the pictures. After scanning, zooming, editing, enhancing, lightening, brightening, cropping, carefully tearing, and finally rubber cementing, about 100 photos, I wound up with 2 very sizable collages. Similar to putting together a puzzle that you are inventing, I thought that I had gotten myself in way over my head. But, as always, the pictures found their place on each board. It turned out, that one board was 'Us', meaning my generation, my brother, Edward, my nieces, my cousins and their children, standing on the family that came before us in the other collage. Mom can't see very well, but she knew what it was and she cried. She understood that so many people love her, have loved her, will always love her, as she too, has loved, and will continue to love so many of us as well. It was a special night for a special lady. Happy Birthday Mom!

(The photos of the collage are taken from the center of each one...these are not the full boards!)